Me Versus You?
It can feel alienating at times, modern life … trying to fit in, trying to find a place and peer group to belong to, a community to identify with … and sometimes it can seem as if the world is operating from a rule-book that is both mysterious and awful.
Recently I have been preoccupied with thoughts and memories of how, many distant moons ago as a teenager, it was such a struggle to fit in, whilst at the same time holding onto that emerging sense of self. But there were also huge positives about being that age … outbursts of childish fun, spontaneous rudeness even, and the energy to rebel against mainstream society, with its obsession with the image of things. These attributes I think are worth holding onto, even when the teenage years have been left behind and a person is ‘settled into adult life’ (and thanks for Facebook for coming up with such an amusing category … when I recently downloaded my data-set to find out the extent of Big Brother’s knowledge of me, this was how they had categorised me – settled adult life!)
As well as being Sue Williamson, mega-responsible settled-adult; I am also Sue Egypt, my alter-ego, who uses the position of lead vocalist with indie band ‘Wasabi Fire Alarm’, to hold onto and honour the teenager inside! Our first single is an anti-society, anti-conforming video, that applauds on the one hand, the strive for individualism, whilst on the other, the need for feeling connected … without sacrificing anything of the self! For those of you who are interested to see what this might look like, someone of my advancing years, dancing and shouting her way through a video with no care at all about age-appropriateness, then the link is here: Two Fingers In A V.
The urge to be different can be a compelling feeling, and it can result in experiences of being excluded and not quite fitting anywhere …the individual versus society, or me versus you, as it says in the title. Equally important can be the desire for connection with others, and I believe that kindness and respect, as expressed through forming and keeping meaningful relationships is probably the only point to existence. Getting that balance right is important though, and when I come home from working at Tang Hall SMART, which always involves caring, supporting and empowering others – it is time to focus on myself, and tuning in to the bits and pieces, the idiosyncrasies, eccentricities even, that make me who I not so secretly am (I am aware of being less and less inhibited the older I get!) It is the realisation of how good this feels, that prompts me to grab this moment and this space, to throw my hat in the air for all of you out there who are also shamelessly and joyfully themselves whilst encouraging those who are still hiding, to come on out!
